


The Final Cut

by SevenCorvus



Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Dark, Gen, Incest, M/M, Pre-Slash, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-01-24
Updated: 2012-01-24
Packaged: 2017-10-30 02:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/326545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SevenCorvus/pseuds/SevenCorvus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the one problem he could never begin to understand. Himself. He just couldn’t figure out what had gotten him to this point.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to reiterate again that this is dark, so if you’re looking for fluff don’t read this. This is a work in progress, and I'm not sure when I'll get around to writing more, but please comment if you're interested. Feedback is love and will be rewarded with cookies (and smut).

He should have known. Should have been able to figure it out. It was only a matter of some probability calculations of complex variables. It certainly shouldn’t have been beyond him to determine. After all, he had never really had difficulties before. Sure some problems were complicated, but he usually got it in the end. This though, he could make no head way with despite the time he had devoted to it. It was the one problem he could never begin to understand. Himself. He just couldn’t figure out what had gotten him to this point. What cause and effects had brought him to this decision, this action. For all his genius, he had always had problems understanding human behavior himself included. It had started so simply, with a single cut years ago. How had it progressed to this?

What variables had really contributed to this endpoint? Realizing as a child just how different and isolated he was? Trying to maintain his sanity in the face of constant data and calculations pouring into his brain like so much white noise? Living with the knowledge that the brother he idolized hated him? That his mother was the only one in the world who really understood him? Dealing with the loss of her support and unconditional love upon her death? The constant fear that his brother would once again leave and abandon him to his isolation? Or the moment over a decade ago when he realized that he had fallen hopelessly in love with his own brother?

Regardless it was much too late for such questions. Much too late to look back. To wonder how he had gotten to this moment. And in truth he no longer cared. For he had finally lost the one thing he couldn’t live without. The one thing that had never deserted him, never betrayed him or let him down. He had finally lost his numbers, his precious math that had seen him through all of life’s ups and downs. That had kept him sane even at a price.

No, it was too late and in truth he couldn’t really regret his actions. Couldn’t really see any other choice in his situation. He had made up his mind, and this was the course of action he was sticking with. Thinking thusly, he drew the blade across his skin for the final time and watched as his life’s blood dripped darkly down to the tiled floor.


	2. Chapter 2

It was something he always feared, at least subconsciously. He might not admit it out loud, but in the back of his mind there was always that anxious anticipation of a phone call informing of some harm to his son. After all, as an active FBI agent his son was often involved in dangerous situations. It was something he always feared, but this…this he could never have expected. True Charlie did some advising for the FBI and other agencies, but he had never really considered that Charlie was ever in any danger. He worried about him, as any parent worried about their child, but he had always thought that of his boys Don was the one most likely to be injured. No, this was not something he could have ever predicted.

The mild irritation he felt towards his son as he went upstairs to tell him to come down for dinner. The confusion and alarm as he realized that the growing patch of brownish red on the carpet was blood seeping from inside the locked bathroom. The horror as he broke down the door and saw his near lifeless son. The panic he had felt rising as he begged Charlie to hang on. And now the helpless fear as he paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room, waiting for the doctor to come and tell him of his son’s fate.

“Dad!” As Alan turned towards the voice he was relieved that he would not have to wait alone, though Don looked as frightened as he felt.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He never wanted to go through something like that again. Couldn’t even remember how he had gotten from the FBI office to the hospital. All he could recall was the fear in his father’s voice telling him to come to the hospital immediately. That something had happened to Charlie. After that everything was a blur, as his team had dragged him to a car and hurriedly driven him to the hospital. Don couldn’t even remember telling his team of the call, or if he had even said anything. The expression on his face had probably been enough to alert them that something was amiss.

Regardless, he was with his father now as they continued to await news of Charlie’s condition. Yet as they waited all Don could do was to wonder what had happened and think that he had yet again failed his brother.


End file.
